False Alarm

© 2002 Thistle

Iolanthe rubbed a weary hand over her face, sending a small prayer to whatever gods were listening. She was not the mothering type. Getting stuck baby-sitting was always a nightmare.

Just because I'm technically still a teenager doesn't mean I automatically want to baby-sit, she thought to herself, fluffing the pillows. Besides, they do it for money. What do I need more money for? I make bookoo bucks at the Den. I'm a soft touch is my problem. Damn Belamy anyway. He knows I can't say no.

Her kind could switch freely between genders, but all were born with a preference. Iolanthe preferred being soft and cushy like her brother Aerael preferred testosterone. You didn't see many preferred incubi going through the necessary steps for self-reproduction. Yet Belamy, who admittedly straddled the fence of gender rather than pick one or the other, had chosen to settle into the truly androgynous state when the heat came upon him. Neither incubus nor succubus, male or female-sexless and smooth on the outside but a reproductive factory on the inside. Generally this only appealed to succubi, but every once in awhile you got someone like Bel.

Of course, a succubus (or incubus as the case might be) didn't have to go the asexual route. But the heat was the heat-and when the heat was upon them, they were dangerous. Incubi were especially dangerous. Usually "food" didn't have to worry about pregnancy as incubi were usually sterile, but there was always the heat to watch out for. And a succubus in heat had to worry about getting knocked up by a non-incubus, which meant a possible hybrid child. She herself had an actual father, and Sidhe royalty at that. Luckily she'd ended up full succubus. It would have sucked to be a hormonally overactive Sidhe bastard princess. It was bad enough being fathered outside of her mother by a king, thus still bearing a bastard stigma. Being claimed by said father had not made things any easier.

"It's a good thing I'm not near old enough for the heat," she told Belamy's offspring with a grin. "The top of Davy's head would probably blow right off if I turned up all preggers, y'know?"

Her face suddenly went blank, and a suddenly sly grin worthy of Seuss' Grinch spread across it as a horrible, evil, malicious prank crossed her mind. Her eyes slid sideways to the nest of pillows by the fireplace.

"Oh man," she said, putting a hand to her mouth to contain the giggles. "I have got to stop hanging around with pucks. They're horrible influences."

It didn't help that Davy was due in half an hour for dinner. Io glanced at the pillow pile one more time, gave her best maniacal laugh to the empty apartment, then went off to her bedroom to get ready.

*** *** *** ***

Iolanthe had wanted to wear a saucy little corset dress for Davy's return home from his business trip (damn Mark and his penchant for ruining their plans), but her idea for the prank had made her change to something-softer.

So she'd given up the black leather number for a short cotton sundress-white with a pattern of tiny purple rosebuds. Her hair was pinned loosely on top of her head, several tendrils escaping to curl around her delicately featured face. Her wings curled around her, fluttering every once in awhile with suppressed laughter. Oh, this was going to be mean. But she had really wanted to go to Scotland with him. Dammit, what was the point of being a high-paid executive if you couldn't take your girlfriend along on business trips?

Of course, that had probably been Mark...still, the idea was firmly in place and she just-couldn't-help herself. She blamed it on being raised by the Puck. That pipsqueak had been a terrible influence. Then the doorbell rang. "Iolanthe? I'm back!"

Iolanthe practically flew to the door, pulling it open with almost enough force to rip it off its hinges. Davy stood there with a surprised look on his face, holding a bottle of extremely expensive wine in one hand. "Io, what-mmfph?"

She grabbed a fistful of silk vest and pulled him forward, claiming his mouth in a searing kiss filled with two long weeks' of longing for its taste. He stood there stunned by her desperation for a full three seconds before pulling her to him with his free arm and returning the kiss with equal fervor. When they finally parted, she looked up at him with melting eyes and murmured, "Gods, I missed you."

"So I noticed," he replied teasingly. "I missed you, too. Scotland was cold, wet and miserable. You would probably have been the only thing to make it bearable."

She dimpled. "Aww, you always say the sweetest things. So come in and tell me about the trip."

"I just did," he said, stepping inside the apartment and letting her take the wine. "It was cold, wet and miserable. And Mary Grace McTarran is a horrible old woman who kept hitting on me while I tried to get her to understand how ZauberCorp could benefit from her expertise. I have no idea why Mark would want her, and two weeks of meetings that ended in outright begging pretty much availed to nothing."

"I didn't think they would," Iolanthe said, setting the wine on the bar and checking on the chicken roasting in the oven. Funny how neither of them needed regular human food, yet they did the dinner thing anyway. "I didn't find this out until after you left, and I tried leaving a message with your secretary, but, um-"

"She's useless?"

Iolanthe leaned on the bar and grinned. "Very. I think you should fire her and hire me. Then we can do the whole randy boss/naughty secretary thing for real." She dimpled again, making him blush but consider the idea.

"That really doesn't sound like such a bad idea," Davy said wistfully. "I'd never get any work done, though."

"Probably not," she giggled, bouncing lightly across the room and back into his arms. He wrapped his arms around her waist and leaned back, lifting her up off her feet. She squealed and pressed a playful kiss to his lips. "I' m going on the next business trip, Davy. If Mark has a problem, he can just bite me."

"That's not a wise thing to say to a vampire, Io," he reminded her, then frowned. "Oh yeah. You never said what you found out."

"I didn't? Oh. Well, it turns about that Mary McTarran is actually Bonnie Darkholme's grandmother. You know Bonnie, right? Owns ZauberCorp's only real competition? At times, anyway. I know her and Mark fight for the same investors, anyway. But I seriously doubt Mrs. McTarran would go work for her granddaughter's rival company, even if the pay is spectacular. Like I said, I tried to call and tell you as soon as I found out."

Davy stared at her sheepish grin, then groaned. "We really need to fire some people. Research is turning out to be as useless as my secretary."

Iolanthe shook her head. "I wouldn't blame them. Bonnie's gone through so many personas that it would be almost impossible to trace her relation to Mary McTarran. I'm just sorry you wasted your time like that."

"Not half as much as me," he replied fervently, setting her back on her feet and nuzzling the line of her neck. "Um...how long until dinner is ready?"

"Well, you are kinda early..."

She felt him grin against her throat. "I know..."

"But I really should keep an eye on the chicken and-watch out!!!!! " Davy paused in the motion of taking a step back and froze. "What, what??"

Iolanthe swept past him to bend down and pick something up off the floor. "You nearly stepped on her!"

"Her who?" he asked guiltily, glancing at the blanket cradled in Iolanthe's arms. "Who's that? Are you baby-sitting tonight?" Iolanthe smiled sweetly and shifted the flannel baby blanket until its occupant was revealed.

It was an egg-a big damn egg, roughly the size of a watermelon with a pebbly texture. It was a deep turquoise in color, speckled with spots of a darker blue. Iolanthe held it close to her bosom like a baby, cooing softly. Davy just stared at it, puzzled.

"What kind of egg is that?" he asked, running a finger over one end. "Some kind of dragon?"

Iolanthe looked at him, then dropped her gaze, blushing. "I tried to get ahold of you, but no one would give me a number for you, and your cellphone wasn't working-"

"Iolanthe-"

"I don't even know how it happened, really. I mean, I'm not old enough for this kind of thing yet! But my family is so screwed up, I guess I shouldn't be all that surprised-"

"Um, Io?"

"I was really scared, y'know? I mean, I didn't know what the hell was going on. I just hurt really bad for the first week you were gone, and then I started getting all bloated...I had to miss work I was so huge! And then Sunday night came along and plop! There's a damn egg in my bed!"

"Io?!"

"I read a play like that once, about this girl that slept with a garbage man and her momma locked her in a closet and then she laid an egg...it was really weird play, and I've never seen it actually performed anywhere-"

"Iolanthe!"

She stopped babbling and clutched the egg tighter to her chest, chewing her lip. Davy was breathing hard, watching her warily. "Io, what are you saying?"

"Um...it's a succubus egg."

"It's a-" He stared at the large egg for a long moment, then quietly moved over to the chaise lounge. "Oh gods."

"Davy? Are you okay?"

"Oh gods."

Iolanthe quickly walked over and sat down beside him, freeing one arm to clutch at his. "Sweetie? You're okay with this, right? I mean, it's a little too late to do anything now."

"You'll have to move in with me."

She blinked, drawing back. "Excuse me?"

"You'll have to move in with me, won't you?" he asked, not looking at her. His voice was a monotone as he considered his future. "I guess we'll have to turn one of the rooms into a nursery...find a crib...although your kind grow up really really fast, don't they?"

"Um, Davy..."

"What do you think she'll look like? I mean, a succubus/vampire kid? Will she have wings like mine or yours? Will she have to drink blood? Who are we gonna get to breast-feed her if she does? And if she has to feed on lust...how the hell are we gonna do that? How do you feed a baby succubus? And are you sure it'll be a succubus? It could be an incubus, couldn't it? Oh gods, what if she takes after me and ends up with no glamour and a nullifying field? Then all of Faerie is gonna be after me and her!"

"David..."

"And Mark! Mark's gonna flip out. Aerael's gonna kill me. Aerael's not gonna kill me, is he? I mean, I thought you said you couldn't-that you weren't-umm-"

She leaned across and laid a finger over his lips, silencing him. "Davy, sweetie, it's okay. You don't have to worry about a thing."

"Of course I do!" He reached over and took her hand, staring intently into her face. "Look...Iolanthe, I love you. And I'm not going to abandon you at a time like this. I mean, yeah, I'm a little stunned. This is all really, um, really sudden. But I'm here for you. And for the, um, baby. This is a little sooner than I wanted to start having kids, but-well, I like kids." He smiled reassuringly, making Iolanthe feel like a complete and utter ass. "So, you can move in with me. We'll figure out what to do as we have to. Okay?"

She sighed and let out a disgusted sigh. "Dammit, Davy...now I feel like a total shit. You weren't supposed to be all accepting like that so far."

"Huh? I don't-"

Iolanthe tossed her head, a truly sheepish little smile twisting her lips. "This has been a test of the emergency broadcast system. If this had been a real emergency...and so on. It was a joke, Davy. I've been hanging out with pucks for two weeks. They were a horrible influence." He just stared at her. She winced and ducked her head. "It's not my egg. I'm watching it for friend who had to go out of town. I didn't think you'd get that serious that quick. I'm sorry."

"Oh." He stared at the egg, then back at Iolanthe, then at the egg. His eyes narrowed. "That was a nasty, awful joke to pull on someone that's just been through 2 weeks of hell, Iolanthe. It's even worse when you consider that you're my first girlfriend and my first-well, my first first! Dammit, Iolanthe! What got into you? You don't do that to a guy my age!"

Her lower lip pooched out. "I'm sorry! I just get into these moods, especially when I'm hungry. They had to close the Den this past week for extermination problems, so I'm sorta starved. I don't think well when I'm hungry. Plus it seemed funny when I thought of it. Like I said, I didn't know you were gonna be all accepting that fast. I feel like crap."

"Well, you should. That was mean and nasty."

"Yeah, you said." She suddenly shoved the blanketed egg into his arms and stood up. "I need to check the chicken again. Watch the egg for a moment, will you?"

She trotted off quickly into the kitchen, leaving him to stare at what for a few precious moments had been his offspring.

It had been a stupid joke, but Iolanthe was often immature in her pranks. This went a little further than usual, but he supposed he could forgive her. Still, he was surprised at the wave of disappointment that was sweeping over him as he realized he wasn't holding his own child. It wouldn't have been such a really bad thing had the joke not been a joke.

He stroked one hand over the shell and murmured, "Hey in there. How's it goin'?"

The egg suddenly gave a huge lurch to the left, nearly toppling out of his hands. Davy gave a little yelp and juggled it, pulling it close to his chest and wrapping both arms and wings around it to hold it. It jerked against him as if something inside was trying very hard to escape, and without the help of his wings it might very well have jostled its way out of his arms and hit the floor.

"Iolanthe!" he yelled, panicked. "I think it's hatching!"

"What?"

A very panicked Iolanthe bolted out of the kitchen, skidding to a stop in front of the chaise lounge. She stared wildly at the jerking motions beneath his wings and suddenly narrowed her eyes. "Oh yeah right. You're just getting me back for the joke, aren't you? What are you doing, jerking off under there?"

"What? No!" He moved his wings, revealing the jiggling egg. "Look, it's hatching!"

"It can't be hatching!" she yelled. "It's too early yet! Maybe it's just-I dunno-restless or something. Maybe she's having a bad dream in there."

"I've never seen many eggs hatch before, but I think it's definitely hatching. What do we do?"

Iolanthe ran to the kitchen bar and snatched the cordless off its base. As she punched frantically at the numbers, she said, "I know a midwife that takes care of a lot of fae. I'm calling her. Go put the egg back in its pillow nest."

Davy carefully stood up, trying to keep a tight grip on the egg. But its natural slipperiness combined with the flannel made it hard. He wrapped his wings around it to help hold it still while he carefully navigated his way back to the pillow nest and laid it carefully in the soft confines. The he stood back and watched the large egg jerk erratically while listening to Iolanthe talk frantically behind him.

"Okay, Moira's on her way," the succubus said, coming over to root frantically through the mess on the coffee table. "I've got to call Belamy and tell him the egg is hatching early. Oh gods, he's gonna be so upset...missing the birth of his own child. And there he is stuck in Las Vegas at some drag queen contest, the freak." She picked up a phone book and flipped through it. "I know I have his hotel number in here somewhere-yes!"

She started dialing again and paced while she waited for someone to pick up. "Be there, be there, be-Belamy! You've got to get back as quick as you can! ...I don't care that the finals are tonight. It's hatching! Yeah, yeah...well, hurry! Dammit, I'm not equipped to take care of a newborn. Get your fruity little ass back here now!"

Iolanthe hit the OFF button and threw the phone onto the lounge, then joined Davy by the pillow nest. She chewed worriedly on her lower lip as her hand reached for the nervous vampire's. "Shit, talk about instant karma..."

"No, instant karma would be you getting knocked up for real," he said with a slightly hysterical laugh. "This...this is just really bad timing."

"Well, that's an ill omen for the kid. Nothing worse than a lust fae with bad timing."

She snuggled into his side, wrapping her arms around his torso. "Look, I really am sorry. That was a horrible thing to do earlier."

"Didn't really seem like you," Davy said, slipping an arm around her shoulders. "Granted, you are the same girl that chased me around the room with a lasso...tied me up with silk scarves..."

Iolanthe grinned and nudged him in the side. "You liked it. Hey, we haven't tried that in the bedroom yet...I wonder if I still have those silk scarves."

"Umm..."

"Mark would probably lend me some cuffs if I asked real nicely."

"Don't even think about it," he said quickly, his cheeks reddening.

"Killjoy."

*** *** *** ***

The midwife was a two-foot brownie woman, nearly as wide as she was tall, with a brisk, cheery mood that immediately calmed down the worried couple.

"Now, dearies, don't worry yer poor little heads about it," she said, patting Iolanthe on the hip as the succubus hovered over her. "There's no set time for one o'yer kind ta incubate. Yer aging is erratic at best. This'un just may be a quick lil' grower. Shame about its mama bein' gone for tha hatchin' though. Now you two just go on and eat yer dinner and let me keep an eye on the babe...though you might think about givin' a poor old lady a bite o'that wunnerful smellin' chicken," she added with the obvious slyness of the elderly.

"Thanks Moira," Iolanthe said gratefully, hugging her arms as she looked at the egg. Its movements had slowed now. "But how are we gonna feed it when it does hatch? I don't know how fast Belamy can get back."

"We'll worry about that when tha time comes, dearie. Now go on and eat... though I don't know what you two are playin' at eatin' regular food."

"We're just playing," Iolanthe sighed, turning back to Davy. "Come on, sweetie. I don't think there's anything we can do over here."

The two walked over to the kitchen while the brownie squatted down beside the egg, pulling a pipe and tobacco pouch from the bag she'd brought with her. Soon she was surrounded in a tobacco fog, periodically munching on the chicken leg Davy brought her. The couple sat at the small kitchen table sharing a quiet dinner, keeping their ears cocked for any distressing sounds.

"Where did you learn to cook?" Davy asked, noting the dinner was surprising good even if it wasn't providing him with any sustenance.

"A romantic dinner can be a powerful weapon in the war of the sexes," Iolanthe said, waving her fork in a little circle and grinning. "Every succubus or incubus has their own personal armory for seduction. I learned to cook and give good massages. And dance. And knot."

"Knot?"

"As in tying people up? I'm especially good at Japanese bondage."

A nasty bout of coughing suddenly sounded from the living room.

Iolanthe's grin widened and, keeping her eyes on Davy, raised her voice and called out, "Are you all right in there?"

"Fine, dearie. I, ah, sucked a lil' smoke down tha wrong pipe there."

Davy's shoulders and wings were shaking with silent laughter.

Iolanthe just shook her head and forked up a bite of dressing. "That'll teach her to listen in."

They finished dinner, but neither was really satisfied. As they sat there enjoying the wine the vampire had brought, Iolanthe tossed her head in the direction of the refrigerator and picked up her wineglass.

"There's another good vintage in the fridge that you might want to try," she said in a low voice. "One of Lord Haven's."

Davy raised startled eyes to look at her, then the refrigerator. Then he looked back to her and, leaning forward, hissed, "Do you have any idea what Haven's 'vintages' are?"

"I'm not an innocent, David. I know what it is."

"Do you know where he gets his wines?"

She rolled her eyes. "Yes, Davy, I know where he gets his wines. He's got a whole slew of humans he keeps well fed, well amused and well spoiled in exchange for drawing off a pint or so every few days. When he heard we were dating, he applauded me for my 'fine taste in vampires' and gave me one of his favorite 'vintages' for dinner tonight." She dimpled cutely. "Haven likes me. He says if he ever has a daughter, chances are she'll probably be just like me."

"Poor Haven."

"Davy!"

"I'm kidding, I'm kidding!" he laughed, raising his hands to fend off the roll flying at his head. "That was, um, nice of him, I guess."

"Yeah, and it'll round off your dinner nicely." She lowered her voice, raising one violet brow suggestively while he got up and retrieved the bottle out of the refrigerator. "And then we can go off to my room and finish off mine."

Davy gestured over the breakfast bar. "Um, did you forget about the little miracle happening in your living room?"

"Actually, dearies, that'd probably be most helpful fer the lil' one."

Moira waddled into the kitchen, puffing on the pipe as she stole the roll Iolanthe had lobbed at Davy moments before. While she munched, she sprayed crumbs as she added, "Until one o'yer kind is old enough, they have ta rely on what you might call secondhand lusts. It'll be a good atmosphere for the babe ta be born in if you can go get yer young lad there all rarin' ta go."

There's nothing worse than a young person hearing the old talk frankly about sex. It's even worse to hear them use euphemisms. Davy's cheeks were hot enough to cook on and Iolanthe had to bite back the groan.

"Oh no," Davy muttered, glancing sideways at Iolanthe. "Not again."

"Since when do you ever turn down the chance to make up for lost time?" Iolanthe teased, poking him in the arm. "Besides, it's for a good cause."

"I feel like such a pervert."

A mischievous grin spread across her face as she wrapped her arms around one of his and began pulling him towards the bedroom. "Come on, hot stuff. Bring your bottle and let's go finish dinner."

*** *** *** ***

There was something extra in the wine, Davy decided as he eyed the bottle suspiciously. Haven did have some notoriety as a prankster (no wonder he and Iolanthe got along), and he wouldn't put it past him. He turned the suspicious glance to the bathroom where Iolanthe was, wondering if she had anything to do with whatever the blood in the bottle was laced with.

Surely not. Surely she realized she had used up her pranking privileges for the night-and possibly the current century. Of course, she might have forgotten about the bottle's contents in the excitement over the egg. But he was having some very...raunchy thoughts about the slender young morsel currently getting for him.

He slowly got to his feet from off the bed and made his way carefully to the heavy antique bureau sitting by the vanity. A quick search through its drawers yielded a handful of silk scarves. He tugged one between his hands, pulling it taut as he tested its strength. Memories of being tied up at a certain party came back to him as he wound one of the soft squares of material around his hand.

Whatever was in that wine was really starting to work in his system as he pictured the sleek young succubus bound on the huge old bed. A shame he didn't know those Japanese knots Iolanthe had mentioned earlier. They'd probably be hard to make out of silk scarves anyway.

With a slightly demented grin, he balled up a couple of the scarves in one pocket and turned around just as the bathroom door started to open.

"So what do you think?" Iolanthe asked as she posed against the doorframe.

Davy's mouth dropped open. "Where do you get this stuff?"

"Oh please...this is pretty sedate compared to some of the stuff I've owned. Still, this is the first time I've ever worn white. Like it?"

She was wearing white. Davy had never seen her wear white. How could a color look so right and pure on such a naughty little succubus? Her little ensemble for tonight was a white hourglass corset of rose-patterned satin, the top edged with Venise lace that lay against pale endowments made even more impressive by the tight lacing. How did she manage to get a corset laced that tight all by herself? She wore a matching pair of high-cut panties and white, lace top thigh-high stockings adorned with satin bows. A three strand pearl choker circled her throat.

"That is," he tried to focus over the alcohol, "so wrong...somehow. You shouldn't be ably, er, able to look that innnnn...innn...inn...um, chaste."

Iolanthe gave him a suspicious look and walked over to the bottle sitting on the nightstand. She picked it up and sniffed it, then gazed at him warily. "Did Haven spike the wine?"

Davy just stared at her, his gaze focused mainly on the cleavage being pushed up by the corset. Then it slid down the length of those long, shapely legs. Then back up to her breasts. Iolanthe, who usually liked it when Davy looked at her like that, shifted uncomfortably. There was a dark tinge to the waves of lust coming off of him that didn't feel like-well, like Davy. It kind of felt like Mark.

Great, it must run in the family. Davy's just better at suppressing it.

Davy slowly got to his feet, swaying a bit once he got there, and reached out for the lavender-haired beauty. As he lowered his head to kiss her, his hands slid along the length of her arms lightly, making them break out goose flesh. She moaned into his mouth and tried to raise her arms to twine around his neck, but he kept them pinned to her sides. He pulled them behind her back and held the slender wrists in one hand while his other dug in one pocket for a scarf. All the while he kept her distracted with his mouth, which slid silkily over her lips and chin and cheekbones, nipping little butterfly kisses across her skin as he deftly slid the scarf in and around her wrists, binding them tight.

"Wh-hey!" she yelped, tearing her mouth from his and glancing over her shoulder. "When did you get kinky?"

Davy grinned darkly and slid one arm behind her knees and the other across her back, scooping her up. "It suddenly occurred to me I've let you get away with a lot lately. I'm beginning to think I've given you the idea that I'm easily manipulated or something."

"I never-!"

"Maybe not consciously," he murmured, nuzzling his face into her neck, "but I bet it's there. Now it's my turn."

She let out an indignant little squawk as she was dumped unceremoniously onto the bed and quickly straddled. One long fingered hand was planted beside her head as Davy leaned over her, a small twisted smile on his lips. His free hand trailed a finger along the side of her face, down her neck, and rested lightly on one round globe while he kept his gaze fixed on hers.

"Starting to regret teasing the tired, lonely, frustrated young vampire?" he asked as her arms strained beneath her, testing the knots. She froze as he suddenly buried his face in the valley between her breasts, made tighter by the corset and stuck his tongue out, licking a wet trail. His very long tongue, a throwback of dragon genes, managed to reach very far down indeed. He reached under her, finding the corset's lacings and pulling on the little bow. He pulled at the back until the corset was loose enough to push down away from her breasts and circled one pink nipple until it peaked.

"What is it about these that are so fascinating?" he sighed, lowering his face to nip at the rounded flesh.

"Da-a-vy!" she whined, struggling to move her hands. She gave him the dirtiest look she could muster while squirming under the wet mouth sucking her. He turned his gaze upwards while keeping his lips around her breast. She cast about for the right words, then finally burst out with, "This isn't fair!"

A look of pure evil mischief spread across his face as he mumbled around her breast. "I know."

He then set upon a full-out assault upon her body, unfastening the garters and slipping corset down her legs, leaving her clad only in the pretty white stockings and panties. Then he rid her of the panties. He lay down alongside of her and gazed upon her bound form.

"I like this look," he told her, smiling at her small, frustrated struggles. "I suddenly feel avenged for the party. Still, I've got a couple of minor grudges held over from earlier tonight. You won't mind if I exorcise those, right?"

Iolanthe finally quieted and tossed her head, watching him with hooded eyes. "I'm going to kill Haven."

Davy chuckled and slid his hands over her breasts, giving them a hard squeeze as he leaned down for a kiss. "Really? I just may thank him."

The succubus whimpered under his teasing ministrations, squirming as he licked, sucked, and bit and her unable to do anything but cry out with every taunting touch. His mouth and hands roamed everywhere, shying away when she began to enjoy one spot too much. He would bring her to the very brink of ecstasy as only he could-and then leave her there, the bastard. Once she had relaxed, almost crying with disappointment, he would return and do it again.

On the other hand, the evil little vampire was really enjoying the power play. Iolanthe skimmed the lustful energies, tasting their dark waves with a moan. It wasn't the sweet, happy little lusts that she was used to from him, but equivalent to those imported dark chocolates individually wrapped and laid in unmarked boxes that cost almost as much as the chocolates themselves.

As he left her lying panting on the bed for the sixth time, she panted, "Mark would be so proud of his little brother."

Davy padded over and wiped at a sweaty strand of violet hair stuck to her cheek. "Sorry for your little prank yet?"

"You have no idea. You know, you could probably get a job at Jenno's club if you wanted."

The vampire ignored her and patted the top of her head. "I'm going to go see how the egg is doing, see how much longer we should keep this up."

He slipped out of the bedroom, closing the door behind him and strolling over to the pillow nest and its delicate occupant. A fine webbing of cracks covered the shell now, and Moira was nodding in satisfaction.

"The babe's a strong 'un," the brownie woman said, grinning up at him with crooked teeth. "Won't be long now. Why don't ye go finish off the lass."

"I'm not sure she deserves it yet," he mused, crouching down and laying a hand against the shell. It jerked against his touch. "I think you're right about the baby, though. It's about to break through."

"So why don't ye go work to make sure it hatches with a good meal?" she suggested, winking suggestively. He opened his mouth to reply but was cut off by a howl from the bedroom.

"Davy, get your cute little ass back in here and finish this!"

He blushed even through the spiked blood's influence.

"Right...um...just tell us when it's finished hatching."

He returned to the bedroom, leaning against the bureau and taking another swig from the bottle as he looked upon the appealing little morsel laid out on the bed...glaring at him.

"I am so gonna get you for this," she growled, trying to press herself upwards with her wings. "This is cruel and unusual punishment-well, cruel anyway."

"Oh, you're getting a great meal off me and you know it," he replied, grinning darkly as he set the bottle back down and returned to the bed. He suddenly slid his hands beneath her and flipped her onto her stomach, then slowly began to strip. She had almost made it onto her knees when he crawled onto the bed and grabbed her hips.

Leaning over her, he whispered, "You said something about finishing this?"

And with no more warning that that, he slammed roughly into her. A not entirely unpleased wail broke from her throat as her head fell towards the bed with no way of catching herself. She was caught, however, as he grabbed a couple of handfuls of hair and pulled her back up.

"Hey!" she yelped, then groaned as he wrapped one arm around her middle and doubled the speed of his thrusts. "Oh gods..."

Davy buried his face against the back of her neck, feeling her body heat with the blush of an onrushing climax. His grip on her hair tightened with the rest of his body as his own finish started to build. "Da-a-a-vy," she gasped, fingers clenching into fists. "I'm...oh gods...Davy..."

"Iolanthe," he ground out, clasping her roughly as his body stiffened against her. They came together, screaming their pleasure to the world at large. And their cries were echoed by a shriller voice from the next room.

"I take it back," Iolanthe muttered into the bed from beneath Davy's weight. The vampire had collapsed on her and was nuzzling her hair affectionately. "That kid has great timing."

*** *** *** ***

"Oh, aren't you the cutest lil' snooky-wooky pookums?!?" Davy and Iolanthe exchanged pained glances as the incubus Belamy held his little newborn close to his face and gurgled incomprehensibly. The mother sire and his child looked remarkably alike. Both had blue hair (although Bel's was closer to bluebonnet and the baby's hair was powder blue) and wings matching the shades of their hair-though the baby's was much smaller than his momma/daddy's and were folded tight to her little back. Although a newborn, the little succubus was the size of a two-year-old. She had hair to her tiny ankles, which Belamy had braided to keep it out of the way. There were two little nubs on her forehead where horns would eventually break through. She had an adorably chubby face that the couple had "aww"ed over for nearly an hour after her birth. Belamy had her dressed in a baby midriff top and skirt. It looked a lot like the ankle-length blue skirt and shirt knotted at his waist that he wore. Granted, the child wasn't wearing hoop earrings, a fortune in rings and tons of gaudy necklaces...

"I can't believe I missed her birth!" Belamy wailed, pressing one perfectly manicured hand to his forehead dramatically. "I'm such a horrible mother. I missed my firstborn's hatching! But I couldn't take her to Vegas with me. None of the other girls know what I am."

"I know, Bel," Iolanthe said tiredly, rubbing her forehead between her horns. "Look, you must have had an awful trip back. Why don't you go on home and show, um...the baby her new home. What are you naming her, anyway?"

"Bliss," Belamy said, his delicate face beaming with pride as he jiggled the baby on his knee. "Oh, all the boys and girls will be after her in a year. Just like her mommy! Because you're Mommy's beautiful little darling, aren't you? Aren't you? Yes you are! Yes you are!"

Bliss squealed in delight and grabbed the corkscrew curls on each side of Belamy's face, giving them a tug. Then she patted his cheeks, making Belamy jerk out of reach with a disapproving frown.

"No no no, dumpling. No messing up Mommy's make-up. And I think we should go home and let Auntie Iolanthe and her pretty young beau get some well-earned sleep."

Iolanthe walked the two to the door, cooing one last time at little Bliss and giving Belamy a smacking kiss on the cheek before shoving both out and slamming the door after them. She leaned against it with a melodramatic sigh and grinned at Davy.

"I am never baby-sitting again, Davy," she said, shaking her head. "And if I do, it won't be egg-sitting. Too hard on the nerves."

"Tell me about it," he groaned, holding his head. "Oh man...I don't know what Haven had that particular 'vintage' on, but I'm starting to come down now."

"Oh really?"

"Yeah. Look, about tonight-"

"Don't worry about it," Iolanthe said dismissively, dimpling cutely. "It was kind of neat seeing you so...wicked."

"Glad you think so. You're not going to tell Mark about this, are you?"

"Not me. You look awful, sweetie. Why don't you go hole up in the bedroom for awhile until Mark starts calling for you to get your ass into work?"

He got to his feet and wavered unsteadily towards the bedroom, catching himself against the doorframe. "Right. Thanks, Io."

"I'll be in there in a minute," she called after him. "I could use a little sleep myself."

"....'kay."

She waited until she heard him hit the mattress, then walked into the kitchen and began rummaging through the drawers. A muted "a-ha!" and a pair of handcuffs suddenly jingled in her hands.

"Tie me up, will he," she muttered darkly, stalking towards the bedroom with evil intent. "Little boy, by the time I'm through with you, you will be nothing but a mass of vampire-flavored Jell-O!"

A few minutes later...

"Oh, gods, Io! NO! I've gotta work tomorrow!"

"Too damn bad, hornball. You should have thought about that!"

"Mine was revenge!"

"So is this!"

"But-Io, give me the key. I said-hey! Come on, I'm serious here! I-I've got a headache, I've got a headache! Oh...dammit."

"Yeah, that's what I thought."